4 Tips for Learning Inclusive Language

I don’t know about y’all, but I am very much “on the internet.” I’m not ashamed of my browsing history. But when I die, if there is a way to delete the data that reflects the amount of time I spent on my phone, I would be interested in that.

Fortunately, though, good things can come from scrolling. I was looking through my LinkedIn feed and came across a post from someone asking where they can find resources for inclusive language. That’s a green flag!

But as commenters provided links to handbooks and other resources, it looked to be a limited list. I also wasn’t convinced that reading through a handbook and memorizing phrases was the most effective use of someone’s time.

I have been complimented on my ability to catch words and phrases that are, if not outright harmful, nose-wrinkling. I’m not saying this to brag or convince you that I’m a perfect person (cue that Hoobastank song) but to back up my claim:

The best way to learn about and become adept at using inclusive language is to immerse yourself in as many different internet realms as possible.

Cultivating a Diverse Feed With Lived Experiences

Before you’re like, “Whoa, Megan, I’m not making a 4chan account,” I hear you and applaud that sentiment. When I say realms, I really mean the diverse spaces within the platforms you already spend your time.

I spend a lot of time on Instagram, for example, and I have enriched my life — and my writing — by cultivating a feed where I follow lots of different people and organizations who are outspoken about their lived experiences. (I’ve also deeply unenriched my life by following meme pages, but like anything in life, Instagram is a double-edged sword.)

“Lived experience” is an important phrase here. Those who have firsthand experience with something are the real experts.

Engaging with them is one of the most beneficial things you can do to learn and use language correctly and respectfully.

Need help cultivating your feed? Here are a few tips:

1. Seek out those with different experiences than your own

For example, if you’re nondisabled, follow disabled individuals and advocacy groups. If you’re cisgender, engage with trans people.

While no one group of people is a monolith, there tends to be a general agreed-upon language communities prefer. The more time you spend within these communities, the more you’ll pick up and understand when a word or phrase is right or wrong.

Because language is always evolving, you’ll also hear firsthand when an acceptable word or phrase changes. Of course, if you are talking about a specific individual, always ask them how they describe themselves.

2. Vet organizations

Not every advocacy group or organization is trusted among the people they allegedly serve (e.g., Autism Speaks is considered problematic by many autistic people). When in doubt, look at an organization’s leadership and rhetoric to make sure they reflect their community’s populace and values.

3. Be critical of slang

The internet is rife with new words and turns of phrase that seem to go out of style almost immediately. While it can be tempting to jump on the slang bandwagon during its relevancy, it’s not always a good idea. Even well-intentioned people use words that, despite a potential new context, are harmful. This is especially common regarding disability and mental illness (e.g., saying “I’m so OCD” when you really mean you’re just a tidy person).

Staying engaged with people whose experiences may be triggered by slang can help you learn what to avoid.

4. Keep an open mind

It can be tough to change how you think or talk about things. I’ve seen many people get defensive about it, mostly because they don’t “get it.” But you don’t have to “get” something to be respectful. You just have to trust that a person knows themself well enough to use the language that is the most authentic to them.

Getting better at using inclusive language isn’t about memorization. It’s about exposure and paying attention to all of the different lived experiences around you.